Recently I started a new job. I really needed a change after 27 years of the same thing. Same profession different specialty which would require more education , time , and effort. I was very excited initially. Great learning experience and better pay and hours.However I soon discovered that my new colleagues are less than enthusiastic about new comers. I guess I am being judged even before I begin. My preceptor (the one in charge of my training) is not the warm fuzzy type . Hell she scares me to death most days and that is not conducive to learning as it is stirring up lots of trauma memories. Her replacements are male super energetic ego maniacs who take every chance they get to remind me how little i know. I think they get off on hazing me. They want to see me crack.
One co-worker who I don't even know or have had the chance to work with yet won't even look me in the eyes or say hello. I want to punch her. I know that is violent but she is intentionally mean. I asked the boss if she could hold off putting me with her but that went over like a lead balloon. I am beginning to have self doubts as to the ability of sticking this out. I love the work and am willing to learn but these people are not really wanting to teach. I feel afraid most days, i hate myself for being weak and insecure in their presence. I don't know what to do about all these feelings. I have had to increase medications and therapy because of all this. My family really needs the money I earn so i don't want to give up. Thanks for letting me vent.
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That's really cool that you were brave enough to make the change. Especially after being in a job that you presumably felt secure in for so long, it's incredible to have the confidence to change to something new and put yourself into the position of having to learn a new role and expand your current skill set.Phreaksfriend wrote: ↑Thu May 11, 2017 6:34 pmRecently I started a new job. I really needed a change after 27 years of the same thing. Same profession different specialty which would require more education, time, and effort. I was very excited initially. Great learning experience and better pay and hours.
I'm sure given time then you'll feel a part of the team. You're a very likeable person and I'm sure that ultimately your new peers will warm up to you and realise just how wonderful you truly are.
I'm sorry to hear that your perceptor is clearly not somebody who you find approacable and easy to talk to. Just try to be confident and remember that you're an awesome person. It's never easy when you feel imtimidated why your boss - my manager at work is a narcissistic asshole, so I have some understanding of how you feel.
Are you sure you're not confusing them trying to teach you and help you to expand your knowledge with them hazing you? If they don't point out what you don't know and inform you on what you should be doing, then how will you ever learn and improve?
Just try to keep believing in yourself. You're awesome, you can do anything, it's just always really hard when you have a new job because everybody else knows more than you. I'm sure ultimately you'll get up to speed and feel more like a part of the team.
You're not weak, you're an awesome person. Just keep speaking to your therapist about your feelings and let them help you through it.Phreaksfriend wrote: ↑Thu May 11, 2017 6:34 pmI feel afraid most days, I hate myself for being weak and insecure in their presence. I don't know what to do about all these feelings. I have had to increase medications and therapy because of all this. My family really needs the money I earn so i don't want to give up. Thanks for letting me vent.
Just do your best to stay positive, you're an awesome person and you'll achieve all of your goals ultimately!!